


Boneless

by thedoctorofsteel



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-25
Updated: 2015-06-10
Packaged: 2018-03-25 18:18:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3820162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thedoctorofsteel/pseuds/thedoctorofsteel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor sets the Tardis to random and takes Rose and Jack on a new adventure to a planet none of them have visited before. They find trouble among a new species of boneless beings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

Rose squealed as she ran down the corridors of the Tardis with Jack close on her heels. He chased her with his fingers outstretched in an impending tickle attack. She glanced back to check how close Jack was behind her and ran smack into the Doctor's chest with an _oomf_. He instinctively wrapped his arms around her and held her close, taking a half step backward to steady himself. A huge grin spread across his face.

Jack stopped his chase and stood with his hands on his hips and a smirk on his face. 'He finally shows himself.'

The Doctor feigned offence. 'Oi! I've been busy!' He let go of Rose and grabbed her hand. Nodding toward the direction he had come from he said, 'Come on. I thought we might set the Tardis on random and see where she takes us!' His grin turned manic and his two companions had barely nodded agreement before he was pulling Rose toward the console at a sprint, Jack close on their heels.

When they reached the control room he let go of Rose's hand and bolted to the console. He rubbed his hands together in glee then pressed a button, flipped a switch, and turned a knob. 'Tardis set to random!' He flipped on more large switch with a big _cachung_. 'And we're off!'

All three of them grabbed on tight to the console as they were flung into the time vortex. The Tardis whooshed as they were tossed around. When it finally landed with a definitive thump they steadied themselves and stood up straight, letting go of the console.

All three raced for the door but Rose got there first. She threw the doors open and stepped out into a new world. The air was muggy and very hot and three suns spanned the sky. They found themselves in the middle of a run down neighbourhood on the outskirts of some unknown city.

Rose coughed as hot, moist air hit her lungs. She looked down at her outfit; jeans, a t-shirt, and a sweater, then promptly turned back for the Tardis. 'I need to change.'

A couple minutes later she stepped out of the Tardis again wearing a pair of jean shorts and a yellow tank top with silver swirls on the front. 'Much better.' She smiled and appraised the Doctor and Jack. 'You two gonna change?'

The Doctor dawned a smug smile, clasped his hands behind his back, and rocked forward on his toes. 'Superior Time Lord physiology. Temperature doesn't bother me.'

Rose raised an eyebrow and shook her head. 'And you?' she asked Jack.

'I took off my jacket. It's either this or naked. There's no in between.'

Rose grimaced. 'Better stay with that then.' She turned and took three long strides away from the Tardis before glancing back at the two men. 'Well, come on then.' She took off toward the end of the alley that the Tardis has landed in.

Jack crossed his arms across his chest. 'She's sexy when she takes charge.'

'Jack,' the Doctor warned.

Jack held his hands up in surrender. 'Alright, alright. But you know it's true.' He winked.

The Doctor rolled his eyes then set out to follow Rose.

The alley finally ended and Rose shielded her eyes against the suns whose brightness intensified without the shadow of the alley.

The Doctor caught up with Rose and, seeing her discomfort, started rummaging in the pocket of his leather jacket. 'Ah! Here we are.' He handed her a pair of sunglasses.

Rose gratefully took them and slipped them on with a smile. 'Thanks.'

The street they had stepped onto was quiet and nearly deserted. The buildings were rickety, worn down, and looked abandoned.

'Well, isn't this a cheery place,' Jack mused.

After walking for some time they finally reached the top of a hill, turned a corner and caught a glimpse of the rest of the city. The buildings seemed mismatched and unorganized. Sometimes a street, like the one they had just left, would have similar buildings but others would be a mix of run down huts, modern skyscrapers, and suburban housing. It was as if a toddler designed the city. Streets interconnected in the oddest ways and there was no pattern to whether or not a road was paved.

Jack stepped between Rose and the Doctor and put his arms around their shoulders. 'Wooee! That is some place to get lost in.'

A smile spread across the Doctor's face. 'Yup. Race ya!' And he took off running down the next hill.

Rose ran after him yelling, 'Oi! That's not fair! You got a head start!'

Jack shook his head, chuckled then followed on their heels.  


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Doctor, Rose, and Jack encounter the planet's inhabitants for the first time. It doesn't go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The planet's species is loosely based on the Gelatinous Cube from DnD.

The Doctor reached the bottom of the hill and quickly turned around. He caught Rose in his arms and used her momentum to swing her around in a circle. She squealed in delight, a big smile on both of their faces.

Jack caught up to them, bending over with his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath but laughing too hard to do so. 'Whoo! That was fun.' His usual seductive grin was plastered across his face.

The Doctor held Rose a moment longer, her legs dangling just above the ground. When he put her down he rested his hands on his shoulders, flashing her a huge grin. His right hand slid down her arm till it reached her hand which he grabbed, pulling her along. 'Well, come on then.'

They turned a corner and finally got their first glance at this planet's race. Boneless, translucent blob-like beings glided across the sidewalk. Some of them had various items floating in their gelatin like bodies. When one of them passed close to them they noticed that food items seemed to be dissolving while other items simply stayed suspended in their body as if they used their own body as a place to store their belongings.

Rose made a face as she watched food being dissolved. 'Blerg. That's...weird.'

The Doctor elbowed her. 'Oi. That's their normal. Think of how weird you look; all solid and full of limbs.'

Jack cocked his head and smirked. 'I wonder what it would look like if they ate Jell-O,' he mused.

Rose gave a cheeky tongue touched smile. 'Would that be considered cannibalism?'

The Doctor looked affronted. 'Oi! That's rude!'

Rose grabbed his upper arm and lightly bumped his side. 'We're only joking.'

The Doctor rolled his eyes.

They walked down the street, taking in all the strange and varied buildings.

After some time the Doctor finally spoke. 'What do you guys want to do? Your choice.'

Rose touched her tongue to her top teeth as she pondered. 'I want to try some of the local cuisine.'

The Doctor laughed. 'I should have guessed. Always about food with you, isn't it?'

Rose flashed him another mischievous tongue touched smile. 'Do you have a problem with that?'

The Doctor grinned and shook his head. 'Nope.'

Jack nodded toward a building a few feet away. 'Well then, I know a pub when I see one. Come on.' He took off ahead of them, knowing that they'd follow.

Jack pushed open the small door that all three of them had to duck to get through. Once they got inside it was immediately apparent that Jack had been right; it was a pub of sorts.

Several of the boneless citizens of this planet milled around. Rose watched intently to see how the waiters served food and drink without visible arms, let alone hands. She honed in on the bartender and observed a part of his blobby body elongate into some semblance of a tentacle like limb. The end of it stuck to a bottle of a green liquid then retracted toward his body. It reminded her vaguely of a frog catching a fly with its tongue. He then poured some of the liquid into a wooden cup. He repeated the process with two other bottles of different coloured liquid then proceeded to pick up the cup and pour the contents on top of the customer he was serving. Rose watched fascinated as the liquid seeped into...him? Her? It? Them? She wasn't quite sure what pronouns to use. They all looked exactly the same to her. She thought she would be used to this by now but new aliens always seemed to surprise her.

The Doctor sidled up next to her and slipped his hand into hers. He grinned down at her. 'Well, where do you want to sit?'

Rose brought her free hand to her mouth and chewed on her index finger as she pondered. After a moment of indecisiveness Jack stepped up close behind her and whispered in her ear. She smiled and, taking his advice, pointed to a corner booth. 'There.'

The Doctor chuckled. 'Alright, if that's what you want.' He shook his head at Jack, unable to suppress his smile.

Rose skipped over to the booth, dragging the Doctor with her and slipped into the seat. The Doctor slid in beside her, resting his arm across the back of the seat as Jack sat down across from them. It wasn't long before a waiter glided over to their booth. Menus were floating inside of him and one by one he ejected them onto the table with a gross slurping sound then left without having said a single word.

Rose donned a forced smile and waited until the waiter was gone before looking at the menu. She gingerly picked it up. To her surprise it was completely dry and clean. She had expected goop or some other sort of evidence that it had been suspended in someone's body but as far as she could tell it was perfectly normal. She flipped it open and scanned the first page. As per usual the Tardis had translated the writing into English for her, not that it helped. She didn't recognize a single dish and none of the ingredients were even remotely familiar. Her eyebrows furrowed together and a frown tugged at the corner of her lips. The Doctor glanced up from his menu to see the distress on Rose's face.

'Everything okay?'

Rose scrunched her nose. 'There's no pictures. I have no clue what any of this is.'

The Doctor shrugged. 'They don't need pictures. They don't seem to get very many off worlders and if everybody knows the planet's food...'

'Doesn't help me.' She sighed dramatically and idly turned the pages.

Jack closed his menu with a snap. 'You know what? We'll just have to be adventurous and pick something at random and figure out what it is when it gets here.'

The Doctor crossed his arms and leaned back against the seat. 'You were the one that wanted to try the local cuisine.'

'Oh, alright.' Rose tried to sound defeated but couldn't help flashing a tongue touched smile.

The waiter soon came for their orders, again not speaking but expecting them to respond appropriately to his presence. The Doctor and Jack each pronounced their orders beautifully but, recalling how hard it was for her to pronounce Raxicoricofallapatorius, Rose opted to simply point at her selection on the menu. The waiter made a short bubbling sound then left the three of them to chat idly about their respective travels.

Before too long the waiter came back with their food floating in their body and artfully deposited their meals in front of each of them.

Rose's meal was some weird gray-purple goop that smelled less than nice. Rose turned up her nose. 'Bleck!'

'Oi, don't be rude,' the Doctor chided her.

The waiter made an odd squelching sound and one of his co-workers came over.

Jack sat up straight. 'Uh oh.'

The two waiters slid together and combined their gelatin bodies into one large blob. The Doctor watched in horror as the blob moved over Rose and absorbed her. Both Jack and the Doctor leapt to save her but the blob shot out two globs of gelatin that covered their mouths and everything faded to black.

 


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The three time travelers make their escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The creature introduced in this chapter is based on the Gibbering Mouther from Dungeons and Dragons. Sorry this took so long. I had major writers block.

The Doctor yelled into the near darkness of the room they had found themselves in upon waking. 'Rose! Rose!' His voice hitched and he looked around frantically, practically hysterical.  
Jack grabbed his shoulders. 'Doctor. Doctor! Look at me.' When the Doctor's eyes finally rested on his shadowy face he softly continued, 'We'll get Rose back. You know we will, but you're going to have to calm down. Panicking won't get us anywhere.'  
The Doctor broke free and stepped back. 'I'm not panicking.'  
Jack patted him on the shoulder and winked. 'Just keep telling yourself that, sweetheart.'  
The Doctor pushed past him toward the solitary door. 'And don't call me sweetheart.'  
Jack smirked. 'Alright, sweetheart.'  
The Doctor rolled his eyes. As much as he brushed off Jack's teasing, he did appreciate the man. He had to admit he had a way of calming him down. He reached the door and smoothed his hand along the wood, searching for a door handle. After he felt every last inch of the door he sighed. He took a step back and kicked the door with full force but, though a large bang filled the room, the door didn't budge. He blinked a couple times at the door. 'That normally works.'  
The Doctor paced the room like a caged lion while Jack watched him, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. They both came to the conclusion that all they could do was wait.  
It seemed like forever before someone finally came for them. When they did the door slid to the side, disappearing into the wall. The Doctor let out a small oh. That explained why there was no door handle.  
The boneless guard silently slid away with an unspoken understanding that the two men should follow. They followed behind, not daring to say a word and walked down a dim hallway with no windows but row after row of doors.  
Finally they stopped in front of the next door they reached on their right. The door slid open and they entered. The first thing they saw was a lumpy creature the size of twenty of the inhabitants of this world. Every last inch of it was completely covered in mouths, which were currently all closed and silent.  
The Doctor took barely any notice of this creature because he was too preoccupied with finding Rose. His eyes scanned the room and there in the corner he saw her locked in a cage and it made his blood boil. Fury washed over his face and he sensed Jack stiffen beside him. He scowled and yelled, 'Let her go!'  
It was then that the creature opened its mouths. The noise it made caused the Doctor to clamp his hands over his ears in an attempt to block out the sound.  
Rose watched in horror and confusion as the Doctor bent over in pain. Jack also seemed affected but not to the same degree. The sound the creature was making was just garbled nonsense to her but she could tell that it wasn't the same to them. She gripped the bars to her cage tight enough to turn her knuckles white and yelled above the sound of the creature. 'Doctor! Doctor! What's happening?' Panic rose in her voice when she saw blood trickle between his fingers.  
'It's speaking a thousand languages at once. Agh! My brain can't handle translating that many languages at the same time. Cerebral overload. I can't...' His legs gave out and he dropped hard to his knees.  
'What about the Tardis? Why's she not translating them?'  
'She's trying but...agh...it's too much.' His hands slid from his ears as consciousness slipped away.  
Jack stumbled over to the Doctor, hands pressing against his temples in an attempt to alleviate the pain. Though, unlike the Doctor, he didn't know all the languages the creature was speaking he knew enough for his brain to feel like it was being put through a grinder.  
He knelt down by the Doctor and checked his vital signs. His breathing was normal and both hearts were beating. Once he let relief wash over him he realized Rose had been yelling the Doctor's name over and over again. He stood up and took a couple steps toward Rose with his hands held in front of him in a reassuring manner. 'Rose! Rose! He's fine! He'll be okay.' He flinched as the pain in his head flared. He really wished that thing would shut up.  
Then something changed. It felt like something clicking into place and suddenly he could understand the creature. A thousand voices rang out in sync. The effect made his skin crawl and he had to fight the urge to run away from it. The way Rose looked he guessed that she felt the same way.  
He winked at Rose and announced, 'I think the Tardis figured it out.'  
He felt the Doctor stir next to him and finally turned his attention to the creature. When it paused to take a breath he lowered his voice, fixed it with a dangerous glare and repeated the Doctor's words. 'Let. Rose. Go.'  
The echoing voices rung out, 'We are the Gabberwey and we will not tolerate disrespect.'  
Rose gasped and covered her mouth. 'Oh.'  
Jack turned his head to address her. 'Before you even start, this wasn't your fault.' He turned back to the massive, mouth covered creature in front of him and clenched his teeth as he spoke, the muscles in his jaw standing out. 'It wasn't her fault. She doesn't know your customs. She...we don't know your ways.'  
Tears started rolling down Rose's face. 'I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. It's just I'm not used to everything here so it's strange.'  
'Oh, is that what all this is about?'  
Rose, Jack, and the creature shifted their gaze to the Doctor who was rolling his eyes as he pushed himself to his feet.  
'Offence is not a justified reason to arrest an off worlder. You are violating clause 371 of the Shadow Proclamation.' The creature and the Gaberweyan guards jiggled back in forth as though they were suddenly uncomfortable. 'Let. Her. Go. Now.'  
After a lengthy pause the thousand voices rang out again. 'You are banished. None of you shall ever return to this planet.'  
Jack waggled his head back and forth as though he were weighing his options. 'Banishing. I can handle banishing. Wouldn't be the first time.' He winked at Rose.  
The Doctor nodded. 'Accepted.'  
One of the guards unlocked Rose's cage and she ran into the Doctor's arms. Jack hugged them both, sandwiching Rose between him and the Doctor.  
With that they turned their backs and left. Once they had exited the building they ran as fast as they could to the Tardis and leaned against he door laughing once they were safe inside.  
The Doctor donned a huge grin. 'Where to now?'


End file.
